LetMeTellYouAboutMyTripToTheStore
Let Me Tell You About My Trip To The Store
Phil Hollenback
philiph
Sometimes Life Is Just Awesome
Last night, 8pm. We're out of milk. My two boys are 4 years and 20 months. They expects their milk. We don't own a car and it's a few blocks walk to the grocery store. Limited options.
Ok, I will take the boys to the store with me to get milk and other supplies. I would just take the toddler but the 4 year old of course wants to go too, can't leave him at home. I get clothes and shoes and everything on both children. Find the wheeled grocery cart. Find my ergo backpack so I can carry my toddler on my back when he gets tired. Find flashlights for both boys and me. Find tissues for snotty noses. Find coats (it's January). Find hats. Ok, we're ready. Leave the house with the baby and the 4 year old both walking holding my hands.
4 year old melts down on the front steps. He wants both flashlights. No, you can't have both, the baby has the other one. Tears flow. Well, you just have to stay with mom if you can't calm down. Sorry, gotta go. I love you, see you in a little bit.
Set off again, this time for real. Walking with the baby, dragging my grocery cart in the dark. All good. Walk two blocks. The baby is tired and starts grabbing me and wanting to be carried. Ok, time to stop and get him strapped in to the Ergo. All done, let's keep walking.
Cross the street, cross the highway. Hey wait a second, it's Sunday. Does the grocery store close early? Hope not. Well, if it's closed I can at least go to the drugstore next door and get milk. Keep walking.
Work through the 23 crosswalks across the on/off ramps over the highway. Walk by the gas station. Walk by the restaurant. Walk up to the grocery store, cart rattling all the way.
Oh great, grocery store closed. Sigh. They close at 7pm on Sunday. What kind of grocery store closes at 7pm on any day? Oh well, guess I will go get milk at the drugstore. Walk through the shopping complex to the drugstore.
Drugstore is closed. It's 8:15. The store closed at 8. Not getting any milk there. Sigh again. Turn around with baby on my back (at least he's having fun). Rattle the cart across the parking lot back towards home.
Well, I did pass the gas station, and it's open. Maybe I can at least get milk there. Walk past the closed grocery store. Walk past the restaurant. There's a plumber out in front of the restaurant with a big drain snake doing something. Water is running down the driveway.
OH. MY. GOD. Most horrible smell ever. Pure sewage making my eyes water. Wavy lines in the air. Trying not to retch, breathing through my nose. Pits of hell. I keep walking.
Finally make it past the restaurant. There's the gas station. Hope they have milk. Go inside. Hi, do you have milk? No. Well this is going just great. Buy a coke for the wife so I'm not a total failure on this trip. Toss it in the bag in the bottom of my little cart. There is absolutely nowhere else I can walk to for groceries, I've exhausted all possibilities.
Ok let's get home and put this whole thing behind us. Walk home at fast as I can. Baby on my back. Dragging a bouncing rattling cart behind me. Working through all the lights. CArs roaring by. Good times.
Finally, we're home. walk in the front door with a baby on my back. Drag the cart into the entryway.
Hey wait, why is there a wet brown line behind me? Why is the rug all wet? WTF WTF WTF? Reach in the cart, pull the plastic coke bottle out. It's almost empty. The bottom of bottle was bouncing on the ground through the wire mesh of my cart, and it wore a hole clean through. Yay.
Still carrying baby on my back. Find paper towels to clean up mess in entryway. Go out on the porch, there's a brown coca-cola line across the porch and driveway. Get the hose, rinse off the porch. Rinse off the driveway (baby still on my back).
Finally, everything is clean. Go back inside, take off the baby. Collapse. 50 more things to do before I get the baby in bed and get myself in bed. Well, at least I don't have any groceries to put away.
And did I mention we're out of milk?
